Vol. 3, Issue 4

 

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Vol. 4, Issue 1

ASK THE EDITOR: NEW FORMAT!

Vol. 3, Issue 4

2002

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Take a look around our Web site:

http://kevinorf.tripod.com

- Detailed description of writing services

- Client list and testimonials

- Hundreds of writing tips

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IN THIS ISSUE

- FROM THE EDITOR

- EDITING CHALLENGING SENTENCES

- WRITE IN A CONVERSATIONAL STYLE

- CUT DEADWOOD

- ORGANIZE TO READER EXPECTATIONS

- WHY IS WRITING SO DIFFICULT?

- ASK THE EDITOR QUESTIONS

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FROM THE EDITOR

In this issue, we introduce a slightly new format for Ask the Editor. We'll continue to provide great tips and information you can use to improve your writing. And instead of addressing a single topic in every issue, we'll address even more topics. But we'll provide this information in more digestible chunks and in a format that's even more scanable so you can quickly find the information you need.

 

The content of this newsletter is driven by you, our reader. Please let us know what you think of the new format.

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EDITING CHALLENGING SENTENCES

- Use active, verb-dominated language.

- Eliminate the useless opener, for example, "What I would like to say is…"

- Cut down prepositions

- Circle any "is" verbs and rewrite using active verb.

 

EXAMPLE:

The fact of the matter is that up until this point in time, the trend in the direction of high turnover of employees in Marketing is the result of restructuring. (30 words.)

Restructuring has caused high turnover in marketing. (7 words.)

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"Writing, like life itself, is a voyage of discovery." Henry Miller

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NEED AN IMMEDIATE QUOTE ON A WRITING PROJECT?

Call us.

Orfield Communications

262-236-0110

Fax: 262-236-0120

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WRITE IN A CONVERSATIONAL STYLE

Write naturally, as if you were speaking to someone. Avoid wording that sounds stilted and overly formal, for example:

- NOT: If you require further information…

- BUT: If you'd like more information…

- NOT: Upon receipt of your final invoice, final payment will be processed.

- BUT: When we receive your invoice, we will send you a check.

- NOT: Pursuant to our phone conversation, I am forwarding you the proposal.

- BUT: As we discussed on the phone, I'm sending you the proposal.

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"The role of the writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say." Anais Nin

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CUT DEADWOOD

Write simple, strong sentences. Cut deadwood (unnecessary words and phrases). Don't use ten words when five will do.

 

- NOT: With reference to your proposal, I feel it is an excellent one.

- BUT: Your proposal is excellent.

- NOT: The company is experiencing a trend in workforce redesign in the areas of accounting and R&D.

- BUT: The company laid off accounting and R&D staff.

- NOT: We propose that the use of force to ensure the achievement of foreign policy goals is more effective than the use of diplomatic means.

- BUT: Might is right.

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"The best technique is none at all." Henry Miller

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ORGANIZE TO READER EXPECTATIONS

- Put yourself in the reader's position and think about what is important to them and what they need to know

- Gain your reader's attention by starting with what is important to them

- Use the newspaper style of reporting--the inverted pyramid--by organizing from most important to least important

 

Organize logically:

- Time sequence

- By place

- Alphabetically

- Chronologically

- Problem followed by solution

- Cause to effect

- Effect to cause

- Deductive order (generalization followed by supporting facts)

- Inductive order (examples that lead to a general principle)

- List key points

- Priority sequence (ranking recommendations, problems, concerns, etc.)

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"Words should be an intense pleasure to a writer just as leather should be to a shoemaker." Evelyn Waugh

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WHY IS WRITING SO DIFFICULT?

Because we try to do too many things at the same time. Plus, we've been conditioned by traditional, outmoded methods of writing instruction to be ultraconscious of errors and mistakes.

 

WHAT WE THINK ABOUT

- Grammar

- Punctuation

- Style

- Usage

- Mechanics (capitalization, etc.)

- Spelling

- Organization

- Diction level/tone

 

WHAT TO DO

Break writing down into a series of manageable tasks that we can effectively accomplish one at a time. This is known as the "process approach" to writing.

 

THE WRITING PROCESS

- Prewriting (generating ideas followed by planning and organizing)

- Writing

- Rewriting (revising the draft several times followed by final proofreading)

 

WRITING AND GOLF

Writing is like golf. If we are too conscious of every swing tip, we'll freeze up. As Sam Snead once said, "I found that the best way was just to draw that stick back nice and lazy, not thinking too much about how I was doing that."

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ASK THE EDITOR QUESTIONS

One of our editors keeps putting colons before quotes even if they only take up two lines of copy. She thinks this is a good idea, whereas I disagree. I think it's only for longer sections excerpted from books.

Jill A. Wester

Proofreader

The Pampered Chef

 

Your editor is right, if you are using AP as your style manual. According to AP, use a comma to introduce a complete one-sentence quotation within a paragraph, but use a colon to introduce quotations of more than one sentence. You should also use a colon at the end of a paragraph that introduces a paragraph of quoted material.

"The Editor"

 

I was just wondering if you know who made the quote: "A thousand mile journey starts with just one step." I've looked around, but can't find the originator. I thought it was the Dalai Lama, but can't prove it. If you can help, I would appreciate it. Thanks a lot!

Eric Balderree

 

I've seen this quote variously attributed to Lao-tzu and Confucius, though never to the Dalai Lama. The Columbia World of Quotations attributes this to Lao-tzu. The correct wording is, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

"The Editor"

 

Stumped by a style issue or perplexed by a punctuation problem? In each issue, I answer a question submitted by a reader. Send your question today!

*****

Copyright 2002 Kevin Orfield

 

Orfield Communications

319 Woodside Ln.

Thiensville, WI 53092

 

262-236-0110

Fax: 262-236-0120

 

Visit our Web site!

http://kevinorf.tripod.com

*****

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*****

 

 

Need an immediate quote on a writing project? 

Or need an estimate for a customized business writing seminar? 

Send an e-mail message to Kevin Orfield at kevinorf@netwurx.net or call 262-236-0110.

 

Orfield Communications, 319 Woodside Ln., Thiensville, WI 53092, fax: 262-236-0120.

Copyright 2003 Kevin Orfield