Vol. 2, Issue 2

 

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ASK THE EDITOR

Vol. 2, Issue 2

March/April 2001

http://kevinorf.tripod.com

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IN THIS ISSUE: WRITING KILLER HEADLINES

- NOTE FROM THE EDITOR

- WRITING KILLER HEADLINES

- ASK THE EDITOR: HYPHENATION

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NOTE FROM THE EDITOR

In Confessions of an Advertising Man, David Ogilvy writes that the headline is the most important element in advertisements, that it is the telegram which decides whether the reader will read the copy.

On average, five times as many people will read the headline as the copy. This is true not only of advertisements, but of sales letters, brochures, newsletter stories, and even interoffice memos.

So you better get your headlines right, and we will tell you how in this issue.

Are you a new subscriber? Please check out our Web site, http://kevinorf.tripod.com, for back issues. And if you're an old subscriber, we recently updated our writing tips section, fee schedule, and testimonials.

Sincerely,

"The Editor"

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WRITING KILLER HEADLINES

A colleague of mine once sent me a sure-fire trade secret for writing the perfect headline: the 100 to 1 formula. The idea is to write 100 headlines, then pick the best one. He read this in an article by someone who I suspect had an ulterior motive, like selling him a big fat book full of other such insights.

My first reaction was that maybe this marketing guru needs to find another vocation. I mean, 100 headlines? Does anyone--guru included--really do this?

Actually the advice isn't half bad. As I constantly preach in my writing seminar, extensive revision is absolutely essential to good writing, or as Hemingway once put it, "Easy writing makes hard reading."

The problem is, it's quite possible you could write 100 bad headlines if you don't know what to look for or how to do it.

Readers will scan headlines before deciding whether to read the copy. The headline provides the first impression for the reader, so it must both sell and summarize the body copy.

Here's how to make every word count:

- Write the headline before you write the copy. Writing the headline first will help you focus the copy. The headline "Sales hit record high" implies a different story than "Sales team sets record."

- Or write the headline after you write the copy. Some writers prefer to do the copy first and extract the title from their copy.

- Be clear and direct. Make sure the headline logically relates to your copy. Avoid the sensationalist headline, then fail to deliver in the copy. Also avoid using a gimmick or irrelevant wordplay to get attention ("Man bites dog! Now that I've got your attention…"). You may get your readers to read your copy, but you may also antagonize them.

- Relate the headline to the copy. Sounds obvious, right? But how many times have we seen memos titled, "Company update." How about, "Company plans merger"?

- Include a verb. Instead of "Board meeting report," use "Board rejects budget."

- Tell your readers what's in it for them. People are more likely to read something that appeals to their self-interest, for example, "When it absolutely has to be there overnight." In today's Internet-paced world, how many of us haven't had to absolutely get something to a client or colleague by the next day?

Or I recently saw an ad for an electronic organizer with the headline, "Technology that relieves stress rather than causes it." This most certainly appeals to those among us who are challenged to program our VCRs, let alone operate a palm top (you know who you are).

- Use present tense. Forget past or future tense. Present tense will keep your headlines shorter and more lively. Plus, news is more attention grabbing when it's fresh. "Bush plans for summit" is better than "Bush will be attending summit."

- Be specific. Try to tell as much of the story in your headline so readers can find what they're looking for. For example, instead of "Department performance outstanding," use "Marketing campaign wins coveted Golden Goose award."

- Select your audience. Headlines are an effective way to single out the readers of your message. For example, an ad's headline for a luxury car might read: "If you have to ask how much this car is…" Or a possible headline for a story for home buyers might be, "You're pre-approved for a home loan: Now what?"

- Grab your readers' attention. Compel the reader to read your copy. Use humor, promise a reward or useful information, ask a question, make a provocative statement or otherwise get the reader to read your copy. For example, "Tired of paying high energy bills?" Or, "If you think your health information is private, think again."

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ASK THE EDITOR: HYPHENATION

Q: I enjoy receiving your newsletter, "Ask The Editor." I find often that one can potentially overdo the use of hyphens with adjectives created through corporate writing.

What would be your approach to these phrases: cost-reduction programs, high-performance culture, high-performing culture, high-quality programs, high-purity products, low-cost production, etc? Would you hyphenate phrases such as this?

Thanks,

Dave Prichard

A: There are only slightly fewer rules for using hyphens than government regulations for handling hazardous materials. It's not possible to cover them all here, but here are a few general principles:

- Err on the side of not using hyphens. The trend is moving away from their use. The tendency is to spell compounds as solid once this has gained acceptance or to leave them open. When in doubt, check a dictionary.

- Use hyphens in compound adjectives whenever ambiguity would result if no hyphen were used. The Chicago Manual of Style offers an example I've never forgotten: fast sailing ship. Is it a fast-sailing ship or a fast sailing-ship?

- Compound modifiers are generally hyphenated when they precede nouns (for example, a full-time employee) but are left open when they occur after the noun (for example, an employee works full time). Exceptions include adverbs ending in -ly. Also, open compound nouns that are widely accepted are usually left open when used as adjectives, for example, health care providers.

The Chicago Manual of Style provides an excellent table summarizing the many rules related to compounds. Unfortunately, Dave, it also requires that adjectival compounds starting with the words "high" and "low" be hyphenated in almost every case. However, there's nothing to prevent you from rewriting the sentence so these constructions don't appear before the noun if your writing starts to become infested with hyphens.

"The Editor"

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QUOTES

"I never reread a text until I have finished the first draft. Otherwise, it's too discouraging." Gore Vidal

"I never reread what I've written. I'm far too afraid to feel ashamed of what I've done." Jorge Luis Borges

"I have rewritten--often several times--every word I have ever published. My pencils outlast their erasers." Vladimir Nabokov

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QUESTION FOR READERS

What makes a headline most effective?

OR

How many times do you revise or rewrite your headlines?

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PREVIOUS READER REPLIES

How do you think about your audience during the writing process?

Great newsletter. Thanks for all the tips. I have a lot of front-line contact with our customers, getting testimonials, etc. When I'm writing a marketing piece, I try to think about what some of them would want to know about, what would make them buy it. Plus it helps me to speak to staff involved in product development and salesmen out in the field. They usually have a good idea of what features and benefits I should focus on.

Eric Patton

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Stumped by a style issue or perplexed by a punctuation problem? In each issue, I answer a question submitted by a reader. Send your question today!

*****

Copyright 2001 Kevin Orfield

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Thiensville, WI 53092

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http://kevinorf.tripod.com

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As a customer of Orfield Communications, you get a free subscription to the bimonthly e-mail newsletter, Ask the Editor. Each issue tackles a common problem all writers--from business professionals to professional writers--often face. You can also get expert opinion on any writing problem. Just "Ask the Editor."

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Need an immediate quote on a writing project? 

Or need an estimate for a customized business writing seminar? 

Send an e-mail message to Kevin Orfield at kevinorf@netwurx.net or call 262-236-0110.

 

Orfield Communications, 319 Woodside Ln., Thiensville, WI 53092, fax: 262-236-0120.

Copyright 2003 Kevin Orfield