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***** As a customer of Innovative Communication Solutions, you get a free subscription to the bimonthly e-mail newsletter, Ask the Editor. Each issue tackles a common problem all writers—from business professionals to professional writers—often face. You can also get expert opinion on any writing problem. Just "Ask the Editor." ***** ASK THE EDITOR Vol. 1, Issue 3 May/June 2000 http://kevinorf.tripod.com ----- IN THIS ISSUE: SENTENCE EDITING - NOTE FROM THE EDITOR - WHITTLING AWAY DEAD WOOD - TIMBER - FEWER WORDS THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A STICK AT - QUOTE - QUESTION FOR READERS - PREVIOUS READER REPLIES - ASK THE EDITOR QUESTION ----- NOTE FROM THE EDITOR This issue’s topic is near and dear to me. If I’m evangelical about anything in my writing seminar, it’s the need to edit, edit, and then edit some more. Writing is a process, which is a point I make repeatedly during my seminar (and a constant theme in this newsletter).
To write well, you need to first free yourself of those encumbering rules we all have drilled into our head. Just get words on paper. This allows you to write naturally, what I call in my seminar the "JustWrite" method. But for your writing to turn out "just right," you need to edit, edit, edit.
The method for sentence editing I describe in this issue is proven and easy to use. I think it’s an excellent start, but there’s obviously a lot more to editing, which I’ll address in future issues. If you’re interested in more editing tips, be sure to check out the recently updated writing tips at our Web site: http://kevinorf.tripod.com.
And please recommend this newsletter to your friends and associates. Just have them send an e-mail to kevinorf@netwurx.net with "Subscribe to Ask the Editor" in the "Subject" box.
Sincerely, "The Editor" ----- WHITTLING AWAY DEAD WOOD A literary critic once praised Hemingway for his "lean, athletic" prose. Hemingway is renowned for his ability to trim the fat from his writing and not clutter it up with unnecessary dead wood.
Writing clear, concise sentences is key to good writing. Yet many of us are still prone to rambling on, leaving more excess baggage in our sentences than the royal family brings on an extended vacation. (I think this is a leftover "skill" we’ve all retained from padding our writing to meet the minimum word requirements for high school compositions.)
But while few of us will ever win the Pulitzer Prize—at least until they give an award for memo writing—we’re all capable of writing clear, coherent, engaging prose.
Don’t believe me? ----- TIMBER! The key is effective sentence editing. Yet, this skill is rarely taught in writing courses. (And I should add here—as I always stress in my writing seminars—that one of best ways to improve our writing is to spend considerable time revising, but few of us do.)
Take a look at the following sentence: "The fact of the matter is that until this point in time, the trend in the direction of high turnover of employees in Marketing is the result of restructuring." (31 words.)
Ain’t she a beaut’? Bet you haven’t seen a sentence that convoluted since, oh, the last memo you received from the information technology department. (Reader: If you happen to work in the information technology department, replace the words "information technology" with "quality management" in the last sentence.) ----- FEWER WORDS THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A STICK AT Here’s a proven sentence editing strategy you can apply to your writing, starting today: - Find the prepositions - Find the "is" verbs - Identify the action - Rewrite the sentence using an action verb - Cut to the chase and trim the fat
Let’s apply this to our example sentence.
Find the prepositions and the "is" verbs (marked here with an asterisk): "The fact *of the matter *is that until this point *in time, the trend *in the direction *of high turnover *of employees *in Marketing *is the result *of restructuring." Strings of prepositional phrases become monotonous and boring. Also, you should try to use a stronger verb than "is," when possible. We’ll rewrite the sentence with this in mind.
Identify the action, in other words, "Who’s doing what to whom?" Good writing should be active, not passive. For example, "Hank Aaron hit the home run." is more engaging than, "The home run was hit by Hank Aaron." In our sentence, restructuring is doing the acting, so let’s make it our subject and rewrite the sentence using an action verb.
Finally, cut to the chase and trim the fat. Look at the beginning of our sentence: "The fact of the matter is that until this point in time…" This type of writing will put you to sleep faster than watching CSPAN after a warm glass of milk! And it doesn’t say a darn thing. The key phrase is "is that." It’s a dead give away that anything that comes before it is meaningless. Anytime you see "is that," lop it off along with anything that appears before it.
So let’s rewrite our sentence: "Until now, restructuring has caused a trend toward high turnover in Marketing." (12 words.)
Are we done? "Until now" is really implied and "a trend toward" is a bit wordy. So how about, "Restructuring has caused high turnover in Marketing." Only seven words. Now, compare it to the original sentence. Have we changed the meaning? No. And our reader is still awake. ----- QUOTE "Prose is architecture, not interior decoration." Ernest Hemingway ------ QUESTIONS FOR READERS What strategies do you use to revise your writing or edit sentences? Your responses will be posted in the next issue! ----- PREVIOUS READER REPLIES How do you deal with writer’s block?
"Unless you have a door, a boom box, and easygoing neighbors, this might not work at the office necessarily. But if you get home and are still stumped, put on your favorite rowdy music and get up and dance. Something about the pounding of dance music and the adrenaline of movement works to open up and speed up the thinking process for me. I virtually always experience a new flood of ideas." Karen Fishman ----- ASK THE EDITOR QUESTION "How do you copyright materials published on the Internet?" N. Stanton
There’s no special distinction made in copyright laws between material published on the Internet and other types of media, so copyright works essentially the same way as print media. It gives the author the exclusive right to authorize and control the copying, distribution, performance, and display of copyrighted work. It protects "original works of authorship," such as literary, musical, and dramatic works; pictorial and graphic works; and motion pictures and sound recordings.
To copyright something posted to the Internet, you don’t need to register with the copyright office. It is protected automatically upon creation. It is even protected without notice—(c) 1999 by John Smith—although this is still common practice. There are, however, certain advantages to providing notice and registering copyright, such as being eligible to receive more damages in the event of a lawsuit.
Because material on the Internet is so easily copied and downloaded, many forget that it is afforded the same protection as printed material. Never assume that you can re-post any material you find on the Internet without securing permission from the holder of the copyright. Even e-mail messages are protected. ----- Stumped by a style issue or perplexed by a punctuation problem? In each issue, I answer a question submitted by a reader. Send your question today! **** Copyright 2000 Kevin Orfield Need an immediate quote on a writing project? Or need an estimate for a customized business writing seminar? Call a writing consultant you can depend on. Kevin Orfield, MA Writing Consultant 262-236-0110 Fax: 262-236-0120
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