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ASK THE EDITOR Vol. 1, Issue 5 September/October 2000 http://kevinorf.tripod.com ----- IN THIS ISSUE: PLAIN ENGLISH - NOTE FROM THE EDITOR - SPEAKING PLAINLY - TOP TEN WAYS TO WRITE IN PLAIN ENGLISH - QUICK TIPS ----- NOTE FROM THE EDITOR
I once edited a book for a doctor who didn't have the most coherent writing style. I suggested that he try to write in plain English, the topic of this issue. To this he replied, "That's easy for you to say, but what if I don't think in plain English?"
Certainly this made his job tougher, but achieving a style that seems effortless--one that that readers can easily understand the first time--isn't an easy job for any of us.
The topic of this issue--plain English--was suggested by a reader who directed me to an excellent Web site with links to all things plain English: www.plainlanguage.gov. To best meet your needs, we need to hear from you. Please write and let us know what topics you'd like to see addressed and what you like or don't like about the newsletter.
And please e-mail me a reply to the Reader Question or send me an Ask the Editor question. I know a lot of you out there are publishing, public relations, communications, and marketing professionals. I think one of the greatest benefits of this newsletter is sharing your knowledge.
We've had a flurry of new subscriptions recently. With so many new subscribers, I encourage new readers to check out past issues at our Web site at http://kevinorf.tripod.com.
And please recommend this newsletter to your friends and associates. Just have them send an e-mail to kevinorf@netwurx.net with "Subscribe to Ask the Editor" in the "Subject" box.
Sincerely, "The Editor" ----- SPEAKING PLAINLY
My favorite quote about writing is from Hemingway: "Easy writing makes hard reading." When he wasn't writing about bells and bulls, he made some fairly insightful remarks about writing.
Writing is hard work. No matter what ideal you have in your head, it never comes out the same way on paper.
A common piece of advice for writing well is to write as we speak. But this is much easier said than done.
We learn to speak naturally, by imitating what we hear around us. Speaking is second nature to us. When we speak, we get immediate feedback from our audience. We can also use body language or change the pitch or volume of our voice to emphasize our meaning.
But writing is a deliberate act that we must consciously learn. And when we write, we do so alone without the benefit of an audience to immediately let us know if the meaning isn't clear. We need to anticipate our audience's needs and their reactions if we are to communicate clearly.
The key advantage of writing is that we can revise until we get it exactly right. A speechwriter for FDR once wrote: "We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society." Not necessarily bad, but FDR revised it so it spoke more directly to its intended audience, the American public: "We're going to make a country in which no one is left out."
What is good writing? My seminar attendees often identify these characteristics: clear, simple, concise, well organized, focused, conversational, planned, enjoyable, and engaging. Good writing is all of these things. In short, good writing is written in plain English. ----- TOP TEN WAYS TO WRITE IN PLAIN ENGLISH
Plain English is written with your reader in mind. It uses short sentences, everyday words, active voice, and personal pronouns to clearly communicate with your reader.
Here's what you can do to write in plain English:
1. Engage your reader. Tell them why they should be interested in what you have to say and how it is relevant to them. To pull the reader in, use personal pronouns such as "you," which speak directly to the reader and create an appealing tone. Personal pronouns also help you to use more direct, concrete language and avoid abstractions.
2. Use short sentences. Over-complexity is the enemy of clear writing. Shorter sentences are effective at communicating complex information quickly because they break it up into small, easy-to-process units.
3. Use active voice. Active voice focuses attention on the performer of an action. Passive voice lengthens a sentence and often creates ambiguity by obscuring the agent responsible for the action. Here is an example of passive voice: "A home run was hit by Sammy Sosa." Notice how much stronger this rewrite is: "Sammy Sosa hit a home run."
4. Write conversationally. Don't write, "Pursuant to the phone conversation, I am forwarding you the proposal." Instead, write, "As we discussed on the phone, I am sending you the proposal." When was the last time you used "pursuant" in everyday speech?
5. Write simple, strong sentences. Keep the subject and verb close together. For example, instead of writing, "With reference to your proposal, I feel it was an excellent one," write, "Your proposal is excellent."
6. Avoid wordiness. Omit superfluous words wherever you can. For example, avoid redundancy by writing "fundamentals" instead of "basic fundamentals." Or turn nouns into verbs whenever possible. For example, write "he decided" instead of "he made a decision." (See Quick Tips below for more ways to reduce wordiness.)
7. Use simple, everyday words. For example, instead of "commencement," use "start" or instead of "obfuscate," use "confuse."
8. Cut out the useless opener. The phrase "is that" is usually a dead give away that all that comes before is unnecessary information, for example, "What I would like to say is that…"
9. Organize based on the readers' needs. Think through the questions they have and organize logically from most to least important. Look at what you've written and ask whether it furthers your purpose or if you need to elaborate for your reader.
10. Be specific. For example, don't write, "John Powers won an award." Instead write, "John Powers won the Toaster Souffle Salesman of the Year Award." Try to use concrete terms whenever possible. The more abstract a term is, the more difficulty people will have trying to understand it. For example, instead of "asset," you can write "one share of Bratwurst International preferred stock." If you cannot eliminate abstraction altogether, try to use examples or scenarios to clarify abstract terms. --- QUICK TIPS
How to be engaging: - Speak to your reader's life, emotions, and needs - Tell a story - Write about people - Write in a personal style, like a letter to a friend - Include important news and major issues - Answer important questions the reader might have - Address subjects that interest the reader
Other ways to avoid wordiness: - Never start a sentence with "There are" - Get rid of "who are" and "which are" - Delete meaningless phrases such as "kind of," "actually," particularly," "generally," "practically" - Avoid using "the fact that" - Replace phrases with a word, for example, replace "in the event that" with "if," or "in reference to" with "about," or "in order to" with "to" - Cut needless adverbs and adjectives, for example, "He is _currently_ employed at Target." - Limit use of prepositions, for example, the sentence "We are in need of writers with talent." can be shortened to "We need talented writers."
Design considerations to increase readability: - Left justify to create regular spacing between words - Use descriptive headings to allow readers to quickly scan the document for pertinent information - Keep sections short to make them more readable and less intimidating - Increase white space by using shorter paragraphs, more headings, and tables to make a page more inviting to the reader ----- QUOTES
"You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough." William Blake
"There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." Red Smith
"With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and a definite hardening of the paragraphs." James Thurber
"I have no fans. You know what I got? Customers." Mickey Spillane
"No one can write decently who is distrustful of the reader's intelligence, or whose attitude is patronizing." E.B. White ------ QUESTIONS FOR READERS
What is good writing? Or suggest your own top ten (or two or three) ways to write in plain English. Or how do you engage your reader? ----- PREVIOUS READER REPLIES
What rules drive you crazy? Or, conversely, what are your pet peeves? What rules do you constantly see being broken that represent the demise of Western Civilization?
Reader responses:
I loved the latest issue of "Ask the Editor" and couldn't resist the urge to respond to you "Questions for Readers." My two biggest pet peeves:
"Utilize"--it should be expunged from the English language. Why use this bloated, snobby word when "use" will do?
The "health care"/"healthcare"/"health-care" debate. In my opinion, backed up by the AP Style Manual and Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary Tenth Edition, "healthcare" is not a word. "Health-care" is O.K. if these two words are modifying a third, such as "health-care worker." I had a company that, because AP Style said that "health care" is two words and not hyphenated, believed that AP Style meant you should break the "hyphenate two words when they modify a third" rule. Another felt that creating a new word "healthcare" was perfectly O.K. "Everyone else is doing it." My response--people are lemmings!
Carma Spence-Pothitt
My pet peeve is people not using "that" to introduce an objective phrase. Example: "He said he was going to the store." Should be "He said that he was going to the store."
Jim Warda
Among his many talents, Jim writes the excellent "Moments Online," a weekly e-newsletter about finding meaning in the moments. If you are interested in subscribing, please write him at Wordwind5@aol.com. ----- ASK THE EDITOR QUESTION
HELP! I need your experts to settle an argument. Could you please tell me which of the following is correct?
"Please let us know how you as a licensed driver feel about this new law." "Please let us know how you as a licensed driver feels about this new law."
D. Jones
The first sentence is correct. The verb should always agree with the simple subject, in this case, "you," not the modifying clause, "as a licensed driver," in the second example. ----- Stumped by a style issue or perplexed by a punctuation problem? In each issue, I answer a question submitted by a reader. Send your question today! ***** Ask the Editor is a free, bimonthly e-newsletter for customers of Innovative Communication Solutions. Each issue tackles a common problem all writers--from business professionals to professional writers--often face. You can also get expert opinion on any writing problem. Just "Ask the Editor." ***** Copyright 2000 Kevin Orfield
Need an immediate quote on a writing project? Or need an estimate for a customized business writing seminar? Call a writing consultant you can depend on. Kevin Orfield, MA Writing Consultant 262-236-0110 Fax: 262-236-0120
Innovative Communication Solutions 10321 N. Versailles Ct. Mequon, WI 53092 Visit our Web site!
Subscription Notes: Feel free to pass this newsletter on to friends and colleagues. - To subscribe others, just have them send an e-mail to kevinorf@netwurx.net with "Subscribe to Ask the Editor" in the "Subject" box. - To unsubscribe at any time, simply send an e-mail to kevinorf@netwurx.net with "Unsubscribe to Ask the Editor" in the "Subject" box. But then, why would you want to miss out on free advice? **** |
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